14 August 2014

The Same ME

Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

2 January 2014 . . . That was the date of my previous post. O.O
Lama sudah tidak menaip dalam blog yang hampir terbengkalai ini. 

Alhamdulillah, Thanks Allah for His mercy, i'm still alive to post something here. :)

I'm sorry for those who find me and my blog full of awkwardness. I realise that i'm not good at communicating with people :( I'm just a smiling sheep to some people. I'm no fun at all. I talk full of hypocrisy, riya' and ujub.
Sorry for not being your good friend. I'm not a talkative person anymore. I don't know why. but i refuse to talk to people academically (because i have a feeling that I do not have any piece of authentic knowledge to share with the others).

When I browsed through my friends' posts on facebook, i felt really tiny and puny. It made me felt like " Wow, he/she knows a lot of thing / has a very wide view of general things" 

Then, I started to compare myself with them. I found the major difference is that, they love reading. and I do not have that much of passion for reading.

I read because i see other people read. (That is my personality). I'm not a copycat, but i'm more of a jealous-oriented person, in which i think " If he/she can read that much, i should have the ability read more!"  

And when i start reading, i realise that my true intention of gaining knowledge is just based on mere jealousy towards others. The true purpose of my reading deviates from the utmost target (which is to gain new knowledge). In the end, i find myself inferior as compared to them...

Ya Allah, help me to divert my motive of reading and attaining knowledge towards your pleasure. I want to gain a true meaning in performing any of my actions.

Help me to change. T_T

Syukran 'ala kulli haal. From your friend, moha_mohu

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